t happened very quickly, i was in virginia. thursday she was going to get a colonoscopy because she was having cramps and she was bleeding everytime she had a movement. so they did it, and she was to be brought back to the hospital for surgery (this)tuesday because she had a 100% blockage in her intestine.

Friday, she threw up blood at the nursing home so they rushed her to the emergency room at milford where they stabilized the bleeding with a levine tube (sucks blood out of stomach) and so friday she was taken care of, saturday i come back from virginia and no sooner do i get in my moms car does the surgeon call saying she had to be rushed into surgery because the blockage was pressing against her diaphragm. we dont think she ever made it past the surgery, but who knows? after the surgery they said she came out just fine, and again was stabilized, but she was in that acoma like state, she never had any response. she was on a ventilator and they had a central line in her to give her antibiotics because they found backed up waste before the blockage so she had a major abdominal infection, and they never told us whether or not the blockage was malignant or not and where she was exactly bleeding from, but her kidneys were starting to fail, and they couldnt do anything to treat the kidneys because her blood pressure was so low, they were giving her medication so it stayed up high but it didnt work. we came home saturday night because nothing was happening, but my parents went back until 1 in the morning. sunday morning, we get a call at 430am and they told us to get down there because her blood pressure sky rocketed up and down, and my parents rushed back to the hospital
i joined up later at 830 and basically we were all just sitting there waiting for her to pass. Her spirit had gone but her body was still there because of the medication and whatnot.
it happened very quickly, the nurse didnt leave us alone in the room and the doctors were all outside watching the outoftheroom monitor. my dad and i are watching the screen, and as soon as her heart beats very slowly, the nurse goes outside to get the doctors, and no sooner does she come in the room does the pulse go from 55 to 0 and flatline. my mom was sitting next to her holding her hand and she didnt feel her go or anything.
so she passed away at 10am on the dot. but it was on easter and a day after her sister did many years ago. it was meant to be, i'm just glad i was there and not in Virginia. she was very very sick, she had peripheal artery disease, her leg was amputated, and her circulation was horrible.

i'll miss her terribly. she lived with me all my life.
the wake is wednesday (tomorrow) from 4 to 8pm at the ginley home if you wish to attend, it would be greatly appreciated.

RIP GRANDMA BETTY PRENDERGAST
Feb 6th 1922 - March 23rd 2008


Since I last posted, Betty was rushed to the hospital.
Her colonoscopy revealed a blockage, one that had been building up for at least a few years the doctors told us.
I got home from virginia at 2pm saturday (yesterday) and as soon as my mom and I got into the car to leave the surgeon called. originally they wanted to put off the surgery, since for a person my grandmothers age it was a big risk. But the surgeon told my mother the blockage was making it hard for Betty to breathe, because it was pressing against her diaphragm. My mom insisted I stay home because I should get some rest, and walk the dog, so i stayed, and my dad called half an hour after my mom got to the hospital. The anesthesiologist was asking my mother if my grandmothers heart should fail, whether or not to resucitate (sp?) her and all of those sorts of questions. So my dad advised that I go down to the hospital. I called up my aunt and we went right down to milford regional. We were so worried about grandma betty coming out of the surgery successfully, and she did just that. She was stabilized, so we went home after awhile. My mom wanted to go back because she felt like something would happen, so she and my dad went back to the emergency room whilst i got some rest. i then was woken up out of a deep sleep, but when my mom was calling my name, i didnt hear her, i heard my grandmother. That is how I woke up, hearing my grandmother calling my name. That was about 430 in the morning, the surgeon had called a few minutes before saying that they could not keep betty's blood pressure up high enough to help her heal.
i will update the rest of this when i have a chance. I must do a few errands for my mother, then pick out an outfit for my grandmother to be buried in....
-shay

The warrior inside of me is trying hard to keep composure.

While I am in Virginia, my last full day here, I got a call from my dad, my maternal grandmother (The one who used to live with me; not the one i am visiting right now) had a colonoscopy done, and today she threw up blood. The doctors think the colonoscopy ruptured something....it could be an abdominal anuerism, or it could be a pollup(sp?) or an ulcer that ruptured.

So basically, my grandmother is being rushed to the emergency room with my mom and dad to find out whether she is dying or simply having a ruptured ulcer. my paternal grandmother wants to rush me home but there is no possible way.

I feel like shit....while I was a kid i did nothing but give my maternal grandmother attitude, i was horrible to her. there were times i couldve visted her, and I didnt. there were alot of things i couldve done. and now shes dying. i wont be there to apologize to her if she does pass.

So I'll post another quick update before I have to start my day (clean out the hamster and snake's cages, go to work until 6, etc) I'm getting stressed over computer science. There was an assignment to be graded yesterday that I didn't do. I NEED to pass this class....Its not that I don't understand the material anymore, I get that, but its just the professor seems unreasonable to me. Yesterday was really a half day of sorts due to the fact two professors were not going to be there, so thats two classes I didn't have to go to. My first two classes sailed right by, and then I went on a date. I knew there was an assignment for computer science due the same day, she told us that in class, but she put a time deadline on it as well. Due by 1pm. Now, what if someone had classes until 3? Usually I do, and she couldve argued that during her class period time, the assignment couldve been completed. So theres another 30 points I dont have. So far I have 130 points, but I really should have 250 at this point. Thats 120 points I cannot regain. Thats a whole letter grade down. So no matter what I cannot do better than a B in this class. The professor will ask me why I didnt pass in the assignment either. Oh well. I just really need to stop goofing around and realize this is my last chance.
Other than that whole bit I've been working and hanging out. Tuesday night I went to see Jumper with Ashley and Helen, and its actually a good movie. Hayden Christensen (obv misspelled his name) starred in it, like he did in Awake. Awake is a waste of time, believe me when I tell you. It starts off about this kid who undergoes a risky surgery and the anesthetic does not numb the pain or cause him to fall asleep. Scary concept right? Well the whole scenario turns into a big conspiracy, that the doctor he trusted over his mother's preferred surgeon was merely a fake and was going to kill him to get money. blah blah blah The girlfriend of Haydens set him up, the mother is made to look like the bad guy when she ends up saving her son. All that bullshyt. Waste of time if you ask me. But Jumper, a movie about a kid who can jump from one place to another, is a great movie.
Well I best get going, time for work!

i'm on my macbook! yayyyyy

So yeah, its been like what? a year since I last posted? yeah i honestly intended to stop writing in this, kinda became a chore and alot of people stopped so why bother, right?
Well I'm bored haha
So I've just been working at the Sunoco gas station, and I started school a couple of weeks ago at Massbay. So far so good, but I am rather concerned about my computer science class, and that class is paramount to comprehend and pass. Right now we are on binary, converting it into octal, hexadecimal and decimal, and then basic arithmetic with binary. I understand general binary with the various bases, but as soon as i need to convert it and do arithmetic with it, I'm fuckin lost, not a good thing. I plan on studying it today until I understand it perfectly.
I still do not have a car, altho I drive BJ's new car, a Ford Taurus to school and to work. I should get my own car soon, my father's high school companion is a mechanic now and is searching for a decent used car for me, hopefully he comes up with something soon.
See the deal with bj's old car, her oldsmobile, was taken into Keigan over the summer to get a new sticker, and she also mentioned this strange noise coming from the engine, so a 19 year old kid test drove her car and totalled it. Yes totalled it. And all BJ got was $3800 for it. She should have sued, and she couldve made a controversial lawsuit of the matter (if you have to be 25 to lease a car, an autobody shop should follow the same rules with their customers' cars and employees) But no she didnt want to sue. Go figure.
She and I haven't been fighting as much as we used to, but we still have our disputes.
As for my job, I rather enjoy it, its just lately I've been thinking about when I'll leave that job to go somewhere else. My algebra professor Ervin mentioned that one could be a tutor for math and get paid very well, so on the days I go to school, I could just stay there a bit longer and tutor some other student and get a decent amount of money. I am considering that. I mean, from what I'm doing in my algebra class, I am absolutely sure I will get an A. (like terms, linear and quadratic equations, etc).
Lets see what else....I got a corn snake in September I believe, and named him Jumbiliyah. It was that or Al Capone (both demand(ed) respect) And Jumbiliyah was my own genius' way of substituting the word "fiesty". He is about a foot and half long now, but his head is no bigger than a dime. I cant wait until he gets big enough that he will just curl around my arm and I can bring him out and about with me haha.
My other hamster Nutmeg is doing well, he is very friendly now, I gave him a month to grow up and get used to things. Yes a month. He was about two inches big when I first got him lol. He associates the rustling of a bag with food and runs straight for the door, and will jump right out and crawl around on ya. He loves his hammy ball and his bananas.
As for any personal changes, I'm struggling with gender identity. I'm taking testosterone and I do not define myself as female anymore, I hate being recognized as a woman at work. When going to bathrooms, I strongly consider going into the mens instead of the womens, and have done so before. I don't know. All I do know for certain is I respond to the name 'Shay' and am very gay. I love my womens lol
I'm seeing this girl in providence that I've gone to see numerous times over the past month or two, its nothing serious, I don't want a relationship. Too much drama and commitment, and I have enough going on with work and school to have to worry about one. I rather the benefits to be perfectly honest. And that's what she wants too, so it works out lol
Well that's all I've got to say I guess. If any of you wish to talk to me (if you even read this) my AIM sn is 'CaptainShay945', and AIM forwards to my phone if I'm not actually online (aka I'm at school or work, and yes I text there)

Today Orthellow Fuzzbuzz the golden banded short haired Syrian hammy, my beloved year old hamster died. I came home from work to find him extremely weak, and i could hold him in anyway and he didnt move, all he did was sleep and breathe, so i put him in a basket with lots of special hamster bedding cotton and kept an eye on him, i gave him water through a dropper along with his meds. And the minute I go downstairs to run the dog out, he dies. I come back to find him no longer breathing. He died of wet tail. Two days ago I noticed he was very lethargic and his belly bloated. I got him meds as soon as morning came (when I noticed it was at night) and he had those for a day and a half, the half was today. He had stopped eating and I had brought him to the vet, the vet said he should be fine as long as he gets his meds, but there would be a chance of the hamster dying since he stopped eating. He was a great hamster, he never bit me or caused me a lot of trouble. I'll miss him greatly.

I have some sad news I just was told.
BJ was telling me on the way home tonight she had some sad news about my grandmother's old roommate Emma Cadillac...and I didn't want to hear it because I had gotten really close to her so I told BJ I didn't want to hear it... but I just asked her now because my goddamn curiousity takes over my will. "What happened to Emma?" "What do you think?"<--(BJ had a sad-toned voice crack at the end) So that means she died....she was doing so well too...it's strange, because I had a vision last night...and that's what happened...That's what I fucking hate about nursing homes, that's why I stopped going. You get attached to people who are going to die within hell knows how long.


And the thought that really stabs me...is that my grandmother Betty is next...
So Emma, if you can ever read this, you were one helluva dynamic individual.

Hello people, its Sarah. I've decided to make a new lj.
So yeah. I've made it friend locked which it was not originally, but shyt happens. Add me up and that's it.